We have a ton of daylilies in the backyard. They all blossom effortlessly, year after year. All but one that is. I planted it 8 years ago, and it rarely ever EVER blooms. It is the biggest mound of lilies in the whole yard, but rarely actually flowers. I got it on sale at Lowe’s […]Read More You Fooled Me Daylily
I just got home from my annual OB appointment and poured myself a giant glass of wine. The final chapter in my long ass book of infertility just got closed, and it wasn’t a doctor that closed it- it was me. I’m struggling a bit with letting that settle in. I still have scars on […]Read More Endometriosis Brought me Here
Last week we found out our first (fur)baby has cancer, and this morning he was dropped off at the vet for surgery to remove multiple tumors. I’m a mess. I don’t know why I feel so embarrassed to say that it’s making me so emotional. He’s been in our lives almost as long as the […]Read More A Constant State of Fight or Flight
Guest Post: Samantha Sullivan 80 million people worldwide are affected by an illness called infertility, (Tara M. Cousineau PhD. (Senior staff psychologist), 2007) despite that fact, there is very little public knowledge or awareness about it. 7.3 million women in the U.S. have sought treatment for infertility (Iris G. Insogna, 2018) but, for many reasons the […]Read More Infertility: A Disease Uncovered
With one in eight women dealing with some sort of infertility problem, you are guaranteed to have at least one person in your life going through the struggle of getting and staying pregnant. There is always loss when dealing with infertility. The loss of what you thought you would have, the loss of a dream, […]Read More The Do’s and Don’ts of Infertility Support
This weekend I cleaned out all of Thea’s baby clothes. I was over the moon- they went to a lovely friend who has been trying to get pregnant with her own babe for a long time, and I’m so excited to pass these on to her. I’m elated to see her sweet baby girl in […]Read More Retiring my Hope
Can someone please explain to me why the split second your first child leaves your womb, there’s a line of people out the door ready to bombard you with unsolicited advice? You have barely even decided what your own parenting style is going to be (let’s be real, there’s the style we thought we would […]Read More Thanks, but I Didn’t Ask
If you are part of the IVF cool kids group, you know all about the dreaded “two week wait”. It should honestly be called the 500 year wait, because that is exactly what it feels like. Layer on the most insane anxiety you’ve ever had on top of a shit ton of hormones and a […]Read More The Dreaded 2WW
Between 2011 and 2014 I experienced losses that there was no way I could have ever braced or prepared myself for. They also shook who I was and my belief systems down to the core. I’d always felt very strongly that everything happened for a reason, and that sometimes it would take a long time […]Read More When You Stop Believing Everything Happens for a Reason.
We changed Thea’s toddler bed out into a double bed last weekend and while it was exciting to see her so overjoyed, it was also excruciating for me. Why you ask? Because it was a milestone of motherhood that I’ll never get to experience again. Some of you know a lot about our struggle to […]Read More The Heartache of When all of Your Firsts are also Your Lasts.